FYI I'm not a perfect Christian!

I think it's safe to say that I'm a fairly positive person. I always try to make the best out of even the worst situations, but I am only human....... I have faults, vulnerabilities, fears, & anxiety too. Sometimes I just want to crawl under a blanket & watch tv all day! Today my friends, was one of those days. All’s I wanted to do was cuddle with my boys, eat chocolate ice cream, & catch up on Army Wives. You see I’m a sunshine & Christian music kind of girl……. NORMALLY I like to open all my curtains as soon as I wake up, (even if everyone else is still asleep) so the sun can seep it’s way throughout my house, even if the sun isn’t out, I guess you could say I appreciate the God MADE daylight! I’m not a music person, but I am known to bump some Casting Crowns, & Sidewalk Prophets every now & then. But today I wanted the curtains down, & the music on MUTE! I couldn’t really put my foot on it. I guess you could say that I consider myself to be EXTREMLEY blessed, & it never feels just “OKAY” for me to be in such a pouty mood, so when I am, I get really down on myself. I guess over the years, I’ve grown very accustomed to being the STRONG ONE, & I’ve taken on that roll quite well. I have always been the shoulder to cry on, the voice to pray, & the ears to listen, so I get very uncomfortable reversing those roles. Okay so enough jiber jabber, today was bible study day, & I didn’t want to go. (NO, that’s not right)I did want to go, but something was holding me back. Let me tell you the devil goes full force when he knows I’m growing in faith, & today was no different. As the hours passed & I missed bible study I began to feel guilty, because I knew how bad I really wanted to be there, but that’s when it dawned on me, I was beginning to go for all the wrong reasons. So the littlest excuse became enough to miss not ONE, but THREE bible studies. My purpose this year has been to gain a better understanding of God’s word, which then would allow my relationship with God to grow. Through bible study I’ve been learning that my relationship with God has hit this plateau, because I began to allow my worldly needs be the reason I was serving him. I loved the praise I was getting, & the way people would talk so highly of me made my head grow the size of……. well lets just say I had a big head. My best friend came over after bible study tonight, to tell me she prayed for me, which knocked me to my knees & humbled me instantly. It’s not about me, everything I’m doing is for something, SOMEONE GREATTTTTTTTTER! I realized that my relationship with God has been changing because I haven’t been serving him to serve him. I’ve been people pleasing, & I’ve been held on such a high pedestal for so long that I was afraid to be vulnerable. To let people see or hear my weaknesses because then maybe they wouldn’t let me be the shoulder to cry on, the voice to pray, or the ears to listen. But I aspire to be the Woman he has called me to be, & if that means I have to admit that I’m not a perfect Christian, well then that’s exactly what I am going to do. I serve in the Lords Army & as I was reminded tonight, I’m going to be wearing my Armor of God from here on out!
Ephesians 6:10-18 (New International Version, ©2011)
The Armor of God
“10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”
So tomorrow you better believe those curtains will be opened & Spirit 105.3 will be blaring,
<3 Crystal Saili-Fio